The Dangers of Boredom
by MyDark-Sunshine
Summary: It was a rare sunny day at Forks, yet Bella is bored. What's a girl got to do to amuse herself? Add Emmett and a list to the mix and voila! You've got trouble. "So, basically, all you want me to do is follow this list?" "Basically."
1. Chapter 1: Boredom Strikes

**Title: **The Dangers of Boredom

**Author: **MyDark-Sunshine

**Summary: **It was a rare sunny day at Forks, yet Bella is bored. What's a girl got to do to amuse herself? Add Emmett and a list to the mix and _voila_! You've got trouble.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**A/N: **This is just a mini-series that came to me whilst reading a ton of FanFics and reading _those _lists. I'm really sorry for not updating **"The Teacher's Apprentice"** but I promise that I'll get back to it as soon as I can. Let me know what you think of this story.

**Note: **This story is unbeta'd.

**Chapter One: Boredom Strikes**

It was summer at Forks, Washington. What everyone expected to be another gloomy, rainy day at Forks was unexpectedly a hot, sunny day—everyone except Alice, of course. Everybody was enjoying the rare sunshine bestowed upon the cloudy town. Even the Cullens are enjoying the day; Esme was out, shopping at the public market for a new set of begonias; Rosalie was in her over-alls, tinkering once again with Emmett's gigantic truck; and Jasper was helping (read: slaving away for) Alice in her garden redecoration.

Though there was one exception.

"Ugh!" Bella groaned, covering her face with her hands in frustration. The cast from her run-in with James was already removed a week ago, yet even with full-functioning legs, she's got nothing better to do.

Emmett looked up from his channel-surfing. He was currently on channel 358. "What's wrong, Bella?" He smiled mischievously. "Annoyed at the sexual frustration given to you by the prude that is Edward?"

Said prude growled from the kitchen. Edward was making Bella lunch.

Bella blushed, but she ignored Emmett's last statement. "I'm bored, Emmett."

"Now, ain't that serious, lass?" Emmett mockingly stated solemnly. Then he grinned once more, his dimples so deep that a pencil would probably get stuck somewhere underneath.

Bella stared at him warily. "What is it?"

"Nothin'. Just thinking maybe you'd like to help me with my list, is all." His eyes twinkled.

She looked at him skeptically, daring him to spill. He only maintained his Cheshire cat smile.

Suddenly, Edward entered the living room, giving Emmett the same look Bella was giving him, carrying a plate of food. "Emmett, why are you reciting the Chinese alphabet backwards?" He passed Bella the plate.

He only shrugged, went back to his surfing, but still remained smiling as Bella ate.

Minutes later, Edward's phone ringed. It was Carlisle. They talked so fast that Bella only caught the words "what", "hospital" and "way".

"What did Carlisle want?" Bella asked her favorite vampire.

Tucking his cell back to his pocket, he stood up, kissing his girlfriend's forehead in the process. "He wants me at the hospital. He says it's urgent." He looked at her with love shining in his topaz eyes. "I'll see you in a bit, love." Before he went out of the room, he paused and turned around to glare at his brother. "No funny business, Em."

Emmett looked aghast. "Who? Me?" Then he shook his head violently. "Never."

Edward only sighed as he left, leaving Bella giggling as Emmett went back to grinning. Then he looked at her once again, Bella stopping mid-chuckle.

"So, will you?"

"Will I what?" Bella knew enough of about Emmett to be wary.

"Will you help me, oh dear Bella?" He went for the kill. He gave her his famous puppy-dog eyes and pouty-lips combo, with a side of prayer-hands at the side of his cheek.

Bella knew she was helpless to that face, being given the same face by Alice right before turning her into a Bella-Barbie for prom. _What is it with these Cullens and their puppy faces?_

She sighed. "Okay. I'll bite. What is it, Emmett."

He only smirked.

**O = (TDB) = O**

"So, basically, all you want me to do is follow this list?" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Basically."

"This is ridiculous."

"Nah."

"This is crazy!"

"No, it's brilliant."

"_You're_ crazy."

"No, I'm just plain brilliant. And awesome," he said as an afterthought.

Bella shook her head. She knew that nobody was really sane, but this was just outrageous. And she was in a house full of vampires. "Emmett, he's going to kill us."

"Nah, he won't do that to you. One look from you and he'll turn into a pile of goo. And I can take him anyway, so… there." He looked so proud of his explanation.

Alice then entered the room with Jasper, both holding a vase of flowers. Her eyes were momentarily glossed, before shaking her head and chirping out a laugh. They set the vases down before they approached Bella and Emmett on the couch—Jasper, a bit hesitantly. She snatched the notorious list from the table.

_10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen by Emmett Cullen_, it said on the top.

Emmett raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

The pixie looked at her companions before giving him her version of an evil smile. "When do we start?"

**End of Chapter One.**


	2. Chapter 2: The List

**Title: **The Dangers of Boredom

**Author: **MyDark-Sunshine

**Summary: **It was a rare sunny day at Forks, yet Bella is bored. What's a girl got to do to amuse herself? Add Emmett and a list to the mix and _voila_! You've got trouble.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**A/N: **Tell me what you think; or would you rather I ask Edward?

**Note: **This story is unbeta'd.

**Another Note: **Forgot to tell you all; the characters in this story might be a bit OOC. =)

**Chapter Two: The List**

It took a little convincing and a not-so-subtle threat of shopping from Alice to get Bella to join the three musketeers—well, _vampires_—in their plot. Whilst Bella was a bit wary, they were all excited by the possibilities.

"So what are we going to do?" Jasper asked, the ghost of the admired soldier taking the place of the empathetic vampire.

Emmett rubbed his bear-like hands together. "Simple. We're going to follow this list." Then he added, "But you can add some more if you want to."

"Why don't we," Bella gestured towards the piece of paper that may or may not cause her to lose a boyfriend, "just take a look first?"

Emmett shrugged. "Sure." He reached for the parchment, cleared his throat, before reading his list.

_10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen  
by Emmett Cullen_

Before he could go further, Alice interrupted. "Hold on. Don't you think ten ways is too short?"

Unfazed, he replied, "Not too late to add on to the list." He grabbed a pen, striked the number and repeated reading with more vigor.

_Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen  
by Emmett Cullen_

_- Irritate him by thinking._

They laughed. Then Emmett said, "You can interpret that bit the way you want it to. You know what irritates him."

"A bit of problem, though." Bella realized. "Edward can't read my thoughts."

Emmett gave her a side-glance. "Want to give Edward grey hairs now, Bella?"

She only blushed.

_- Call him Ed, Eddie or any ridiculous nickname you could think of._

"Ed-nerd?"

"Edwin?"

"What about Anthony? That's his middle name, right?" Bella asked, trying to contribute a nickname that won't get them thrown into the nearest active volcano.

Emmett shook his head. "Nah. It's too decent."

"How 'bout Ed-weirdo?" Jasper asked.

"The shiny Volvo owner?"

Emmett snorted. "What about the 109-year-old virgin?" Bella turned beet red at that one.

"Or Eddie-kins?"

"Ooh, ooh!" Alice waved her hand like a monkey. "Cedric Diggory!"

Jasper and Emmett stared at the two girls disbelievingly as they both laughed at Alice's joke. When they realized that the boys were looking at them like they just lost their ever-loving minds, they explained.

"You know Harry Potter, right?" Alice asked. At their nod, she continued. "Well, Edward looks like one of the characters from the fourth installment—the Goblet of Fire."

"Actually, it's more the actor than the character, Alice," Bella said. "I actually pointed out that he looks like Robert Pattinson once. He looked vaguely insulted," she finished with a giggle.

_- Change his ringtone to "Like a Virgin"._

The three vampires howled in laughter once again as Bella flushed once again.

"Like I said: 109-year-old virgin," Emmett said, mid-snicker.

_- Violate his precious Volvo._

"He's going to kill us, I swear," Bella whimpered as the three chortled. Then a dangerous thought entered her mind, her eyes widening in horror. "Or worse, get even with us."

"Lighten up, Bells," Emmett said. "Don't you want to see Edward's reaction after all this? And you hate the Volvo, after all," he added.

Alice looked at her innocently, her tawny eyes promising violence. "We could do this the easy way, or the hard way, Bella. Either way—"

"Okay! Okay!" Bella raised her hands in surrender. She was no match to Alice's—scratch that—the three vampires' strength. And besides, to be honest, she _was _a little intrigued about the hubbub…

Suddenly, an unexpected voice floated towards the living room. "What's this?"

The four froze.

In their eagerness, they did not notice the entrance of the vampire. The last person they expected to be there was standing beside the staircase, leaning against a desk.

"Um… ah…" Jasper mumbled.

"Well, um…" Alice tried to stall.

Bella looked around the room, avoiding everybody's eyes while Emmett just scratched the back of his head.

"Are you going to tell me, or am I supposed to find it out myself?"

When no one answered, the aforementioned vegetarian strutted towards their location and snatched the illicit paper from Emmett's hand.

After what seemed like decades, Emmett finally had the courage to ask, "Well?"

"Well, what?"

He cleared his throat. "Are you in?"

When he got no reply, he lifted his head to see his wife's eyes alight with wicked amusement. Rosalie smirked. "I believe so."

**End of Chapter Two.**


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